Friday blog (today is kind of random)

Black Jeans-I recently bought and soaked a new pair of 501 STF’s that I thought were dark indigo and even wore them once, before I noticed they weren’t a very dark blue but actually black. Full Disclosure-I am color blind mostly reds, for example, I cannot see the difference between blue and purple or dark red and maroon or burgundy. So while I love to wear black I also don’t like to be monochrome matchy matchy so I will be figuring out some different colors to wear with black jeans. I will draw the line at brown shoes with black jeans though, that’s just No. I’m thinking blues and reds as well as greys and blacks.

Cunt-I got a call from my 13 yr old son’s school yesterday, apparently he called another student, a young lady in his class, a cunt. She told him to fuck off which was the appropriate response. The principal called to say he was getting a one day in school suspension. I started thinking of sanctions besides the normal taking away all electronics and social activities for a long stretch. My son has a habit of using words and phrases he claims to not know what they mean. It sucks for him that his dad is a lawyer and his mom is a teacher with a degree in women’s studies. I literally washed his mouth out with soap when he got home. We are deleting all of his social media (his instagram was public which was against my rule and his bio had some anti women language). He is writing a three page report for me on the word cunt and why we don’t ever use it much less call another human being especially a female that word. He is going to apologize personally to the young lady. We arranged with the school for him to have lunchtime and recess detention for the near future. This his last year at this school and he may be on the verge of getting kicked out. See, the little guy has ADHD, like his dad and like me, he is prescribed Adderall. I take mine everyday and it has had immense benefits. I am literally making twice as much as money as before because of my focus and I have lost about 20 lbs. My wife had undertaken to give him his pill everyday but that didn’t happen a few days this week. The deal is that if he doesn’t take his Adderall, he gets sent to the office for something that day. He tried to blame his behavior on that and was told, Adderall or not, you don’t call anyone a cunt ever. But at the same time, my wife is trying to tell him to learn to behave without it. Well, he and I have a chemical issue in our brains that we fix with medication. It’s like when people with depression are told to get over it or when someone tells me I can get over my type 2 diabetes just by diet and exercise (note-I am a competitive cyclist who could hop on my bike and ride 100 miles tomorrow and my cycling coach monitors my diet, so fuck you very much for that wonderful advice, usually by someone who is overweight and can’t walk around the block). So I have now put it on my calendar and I will give my son his pill everyday. It takes away his excuse and at some point, probably in marriage counseling, I will have the conversation with my wife about his meds and behavior.

Marriage counseling -my wife and I are in marriage counseling. She has refused to go for years by simply saying I am the one with the problem(s) and that I should go to fix my issues. She has always had an issue with anger and also with accountability. I am the guy who thinks he is responsible for everything and she used to keep me off balance by me making me walk on eggshells. Then two things happened. She began using testosterone (implanted in her butt cheek, along with others in her “wives club”) which was supposed to lean her up (she joined the cult of Orangetheory and the shorts have gotten shorter and the bikini’s smaller) and I started on Adderall in June. I may be stating the obvious but one of the side effects of the testosterone is that it causes anger and aggression. So her anger has been out of control. On the other hand, the Adderall causes me to not act emotionally in stressful situations and now instead of shutting down and apologizing for whatever random thing she is pissed off about, I call her out on it. The joint session went ok and I was even prepared to take the whip so that my wife didn’t feel like we were piling up on her. She did get to use some of her key phrases about me being all about me and how self involved I am. When I went to my individual session expecting the therapist to give me some homework and it turned out that she got it. I can’t work on anything because the gist of my wife’s complaints about me was that I do everything wrong. There is no where to start and I may be married to a narcissist with a drinking problem. My wife has an appointment next week so we shall see if she keeps the appointment. I don’t want to get divorced but I also don’t want to keep living this way, especially with my boys seeing all of this but it’s getting harder. One of my life goals was not be like one of my cases but this may not work out. There is no relationship where one person is 100% at fault and I am certainly not perfect (see my previous blog “a Cautionary Tale”). I will deal with my marriage counseling in greater detail in future blog or my divorce.

That’s all for this Friday Blog.

One thought on “Friday blog (today is kind of random)

  1. Cunt – yeah, that’s a harsh one, and agreeably the point that you quit accepting “I didn’t know” as an excuse, as that is just a crutch for misbehavior. Looks like you are doing a good job on the parenting end of things.

    Marriage – I wish your marriage was going smoother though. I’m definitely glad that the Adderall is helping you to call her out on her shit. Like 13, you can’t let a chemical imbalance (testosterone in her case) be allowed as an excuse for poor behavior. I can see that your previous closing down just reinforced/rewarded her bad behavior. Every relationship is 50/50 so there is No Way that you are 100% of the problem. I remained married for years because 50% of the shit was me, that would still be with me if I left him. Keep focused on where you want to see your marriage go, it helps at the rough times. At the same time, keep in mind what your sons are learning about relationships/marriage from the two of you. Neither men or women should be door mats. And calling someone who pisses you off, a cunt or dick, only makes matters worse.


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