It’s been awhile but there used to be a show called “Everyone Loves Raymond”. The main character, Raymond, played by actor Ray Romano, was a somewhat bumbling likeable guy who was married to a strong confident woman. Raymond was always finding himself in situations where his own bad choices resulted in his wife both rescuing and lecturing him. Raymond was an archetype often found on television where the man of the family was outsmarted by his children, tolerated by his loving, patient yet far intellectually superior wife and generally seen as a likeable idiot. The problem with the show was that it seems like every woman that is married to someone I know watched that show and pigeon holed their husband as that guy.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret about men. We aren’t all idiots even though arguably we have all made some bad choices. The problem with media portrayal of married men as idiots is that it goes counter to trust in a relationship. I’m not talking about trust as far as being faithful. I am talking about trusting your partner to be competent in simple things like changing a light bulb, picking a restaurant or god help us, grilling meat. That lack of trust leads to constant questioning and self doubt. Every relationship has a division of labor. If both partners trust each other to perform whatever things they each do correctly, life goes a lot better than busting each other’s chops. At the end of the day, most men just want a chance to be excellent for their partners. It’s the partner’s job to give them that opportunity. Raymond was a character not a role model