It’s been awhile but there used to be a show called “Everyone Loves Raymond”. The main character, Raymond, played by actor Ray Romano, was a somewhat bumbling likeable guy who was married to a strong confident woman. Raymond was always finding himself in situations where his own bad choices resulted in his wife both rescuing and lecturing him. Raymond was an archetype often found on television where the man of the family was outsmarted by his children, tolerated by his loving, patient yet far intellectually superior wife and generally seen as a likeable idiot. The problem with the show was that it seems like every woman that is married to someone I know watched that show and pigeon holed their husband as that guy.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about men. We aren’t all idiots even though arguably we have all made some bad choices. The problem with media portrayal of married men as idiots is that it goes counter to trust in a relationship. I’m not talking about trust as far as being faithful. I am talking about trusting your partner to be competent in simple things like changing a light bulb, picking a restaurant or god help us, grilling meat. That lack of trust leads to constant questioning and self doubt. Every relationship has a division of labor. If both partners trust each other to perform whatever things they each do correctly, life goes a lot better than busting each other’s chops. At the end of the day, most men just want a chance to be excellent for their partners. It’s the partner’s job to give them that opportunity. Raymond was a character not a role model

2 thoughts on “Raymond

  1. That is so true. I see that as happening in my last relationship. I watched that show, and it did lead to my expecting less from my spouse, then to normalise my being a harpy about it when he did as I expected. We should instead, think better of our significant other. Find ways to be happy with them instead of focusing on how we can tear them down.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Outstanding. There was a run there for a decade or so where men on TV were portrayed the same. “King of Queens” was another. “Simpson’s”, “King of the Hill”, and it continues today. I’ve never found it funny, nor appealing. I’ve never understood why any woman would want a husband like that. A hard working man who provides and protects his family deserves more respect.

    Liked by 2 people

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